The Rerunner has grown up watching television. His childhood was spent during the 1970s with only four channels. His family referred to him as the Walking TV Guide: he knew what show was on each channel at any given hour on any given day. In the early 1980s, when he was 14, the Rerunner got cable TV, which opened a new world of classic television for him to escape into.

The author simultaneously watching and waiting.

The author simultaneously watching and waiting.

The Rerunner avoided human contact as much as possible, preferring the life of interstellar space travel, crime fighting, living with a new mom and three new sisters with hair of gold, or attempting to get off an uncharted island after a three-hour tour gone bad. As a result, his childhood memories are of television shows rather than of actual things that he did. If friends or colleagues are involved in telling stories from their past, the Rerunner shares a related story from one of his favorite shows. To him this is as relevant as any other personal story. The characters he watched on TV were as real to him as the flesh-and-blood people who entered and exited his life.

After several decades of watching, the Rerunner has developed some observations on life and how it relates to television. While one is real and the other is only a representation of reality, the Rerunner sometimes has trouble distinguishing between them. At his best, he seamlessly travels between the two worlds; at his worst, he sits, staring blankly forward, watching or waiting for something to happen.

The Rerunner avoids most current television today. As mindless as TV may have been during his formative years, it looks like High Art compared with what passes for entertainment these days. Except for America’s Funniest Home Videos: football in the groin never stops being funny.

So come with us back to those eternal days of yesteryear when Nazi POW camps were funny, green-blooded aliens somehow had red lips, and “beaver” was still just a nickname for “Theodore.” Brought to you by Martha White Self-rising Flour with Hot Rize. Goodness Gracious! It’s good.